A little backstory which you can skip: I was a complete loser, I’d lie about the person I wanted to be, I’d be so insecure of taking a single picture that after taking one I’d edit the fuck out of it making myself look even more weird matching those gross beauty standards, I couldn’t talk in social situations due to my social anxiety and was always awkward and didn’t get exposed to much social situations, it’d overwhelm me when ppl would display talents and have so much personality and zest in them and I’d always compare myself and fall flat. I came from a super small house and we had tons of financial issues, I couldn’t afford to have a decent diet, no clothes which would look good on me cuz I was so fucking fat, self harming, no good relations w family, barely any in real life friends, etc like, you can imagine how fucked up it was and it’s not even the end of the things I was facing but I mentioned these cuz they’d seem relatable. Now, I hit gym 6 days a week, lost weight from 85 kgs to 68 kgs, kickboxing, learning flute, quit porn and all social media except reddit, reading books, meditating, socialising and speaking my mind often, forcing myself to get out of my comfort zones, making helpful notes as I journal, learning shuffle dance, more about investing, doing well w studies, I’m so much liked and respected by my friends, developed a good bond w my family right from the scratch, I’m a lot more patient too, having amazing convos w ppl and I’m speaking my mind out, who’re genuinely so nice and kind at the gym, clg and at the kickboxing gym, getting some really nice attention from the girls around, my mental health is getting better and better and I’m so grateful for all the good and bad things which happened to me, basically I’m doing well w every aspect of life!
Here’s how to increase confidence and self-esteem:
Confidence is boosted when you expose yourself to difficult situations and come over them. You have to leave many things behind like how you’ll look in front of the camera or what others think of you, try not to care about it or even if you’re feeling afraid, do it anyway, cuz no matter what, you’ll live, you’ll survive this social situation. Ppl are only concerned about themselves, they won’t remember how stupid you looked. The more you expose yourself, the more confident and stronger you’ll come out to be. Cold approach that woman you found pretty, ask your tailor how did his day go, have deep and personal conversations w your friends like just show that you’re interested and ask more about them, pick up a new hobby which might scare you or try to break that gym PR by a small limit (pls be safe and no ego lifting.) GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! And don’t ever lie to yourself, STOP LYING! TO OTHERS AND TO YOURSELF! Show your real self, I’ve started to upload more pictures of myself on stories too and it’s so freeing, to show your real self without editing and scraping it cuz you look so weird. TAKE THAT RISK!
- Journal your insecurities, write down how to get over them as well, you know the answer deep down. If you don’t, there’s YouTube to help you out but yes, you’ll have to put in the time to map out a schedule which you can execute. Set up goals, literally sit down and write what kind of person you want to be and how you could be that, then slowly start incorporating things and habits to become who you want to be. Start gratitude journalling, it’s 100% effective way to become happier.
- Go on a dopamine detox, slowly start incorporating healthier habits (Cuz tons of things would overwhelm you), start w personal and basic hygiene, beard cut/hair cut every 2-3 weeks, start wearing stainless steel accessories which are cheap, get clothes which fit or alter them accordingly, take care of your skin (Wake up early and at the same time everyday, wash your face w face wash, then apply moisturizer and then sunscreen before stepping out in the sun, basic skincare is that easy and it’ll do wonders to your skin), eat healthy food like 225g of spinach, 4 eggs and 2 carrots everyday along w high protein diet, these should be a non compromising thing cuz it improves your skin so much and makes you look better w tons of nutrients, looking better makes you feel better and appear more confident! Looks matter! Join a gym, lose that extra fat, get dream body, eat in a calorie deficit and w high protein! Gym is so so SO IMPORTANT!
- Tell yourself you’re grateful for how much you’re putting in efforts for yourself, gratitude journal daily, find out the things which you love about yourself, NSDR daily for 15 mins, it’s like easy meditation for beginners and helps you feel rejuvenated, incorporate skills and be good at them, it takes time, but you’ll be good at them someday and progress makes one so happy, take baby steps to achieve the realistic goals which you’ve set up for yourself, your respect for yourself will start slowly increasing cuz you’re slowly becoming the person you want to be, upgrade your self image, cuz you’ll keep falling back into the patterns of the person you think you’re, tell yourself you’re a work in progress or you’re an athlete or an artist or anything which uplifts your self image, then things will start to become easier to stick to cuz they’ll become the new norm of what your self image is, you need to absolutely earn your own respect!
- Talk to people, man, please talk to people, get to know about them and their interest of things or the random things they talk about, you get to learn so much. Go out there, find good ppl who have a growth mindset and are working on themselves, loneliness and all that lone wolf bs sucks, I was there, all my life but being w nice ppl is just so amazing, to increase your social skills I strongly recommend reading How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie, then read The Rudest Book Ever by Shwetabh Gangwar, then I recommend Compound effect, these books are perfect cuz each focuses on different aspects, first for social skills, second for self image and self respect, last one for healthier habits/for success, if you have some issues to read them in a physical copy then audiobooks or PDFs are available too online. YOU GOT THIS!!! DON’T GIVE UP, DON’T LOSE HOPE! Tell yourself everyday it’s only about to get better and no matter what, you’ll be okay. Adopt an abundance mindset!